Post by Host Rob on Mar 3, 2011 17:28:32 GMT -4
Come on in, guys!
Alright, well, I'm sure that there are a number of you who are wondering exactly what the mystery disadvantage from the auction is.
Well, I won't keep you waiting any longer.
Jason, Eliza, Stephen, Gillian, and Mike, please step forward...
We've prepared some special milkshakes for you guys! Yum!
Eliza: That looks pretty gross.
Rob: Don't blame me. Ben made them. Now drink up!
Everybody drinks.
*glub glub glub*
The castaways finish their milkshakes, grimacing slightly at the aftertaste. But, suddenly... something terrible happens!
Deep within each castaway, there is a horrible rumbling noise.
Jason, Mike, Eliza, Gillian, and Stephen scream in pain, clutching each other in terror.
There is silence. The castaways look at each other, stunned...
I don't know what was in those milkshakes, but each castaway's fundamental genetic structure has changed!
Each one of the unfortunate five has been transmuted into a castaway totally unlike their original representation.
Mike, the brawny masculine soldier with testerone oozing from every pore, has been turned into a dweeby rat-like man with long hair who cries when people don't believe his stories about being captured in the Amazon:
=--=--=
Stephen, the computer nerd who runs like a girl and calls himself The Wizard, has been turned into a man who lifts cars over his head for fun and could snap Chuck Norris' neck between his pectorals.
=--=--=
Eliza, who once talked so much that her cell-phone actually exploded because her words came out faster than the speed of sound, has been turned into a girl so silent that if her hair hadn't been purple nobody would remember that she was even on the show at all.
=--=--=
Jason, who first convinced himself that a stick with a smiley face on it was a hidden immunity idol and then went on to get blindsided without playing his real one, has turned into the first person ever to successfully save themselves from eliminaiton using a hidden immunity idol.
=--=--=
Gillian, who was well known in Gabon for being old, unattractive, and more than a little bit dotty when it came to her perceptions of reality, has been transformed into a young beautiful blonde with massive implants who was obviously smarter than every other person she was playing with. She also loves peanut butter.
=--=--=
For all intents and purposes, you will be treated as your new representative until further notice.
It is possible that an immunity necklace could change you back...
Perhaps your new faces will change everything, or perhaps they'll change nothing at all. I guess we'll find out...
